Apparently, Macon is spiffing up, polishing up and gettin’ spiffy. In true Southern style their very best foot is being thrust forward. Mayor Jack Ellis said Monday the city plans to spend “whatever it costs” to buff up the City Auditorium so it is impressive for Oprah Winfrey’s visit. Macon will be polished to the finest glisten when Madam Oprah arrives. The city will sparkle and shine with a deep southern glaze.
According to Harpo Productions, more than 4,500 people requested tickets for the show within the first 48 hours that applications were available. Ladies, I guess that means we will not be going to the November show.
Oprah. Oh, Oprah. How I would love to see you. Since I can not go to your show can you swing by my house? Please, pretty- please with thick, sappy, southern molasses sugar-cane sugar. I need a house re-do, a yard make over. I have a project-o for Nate-roni. And, I am in desperate need of a post baby-delivery make over. I am one of those people who is pulling my hair out. Could one of your angels just come be a mom for the day? I haven’t gotten a good night sleep in - let me see, how old is Beatrice – in 8 freaking months. I can really use you. I read your books. I need you.
Actually, Oprah I don’t need any thing. If you come by my house to visit, I promise, all that I need will be someone to hold me up, keep me alive, help me breathe.
Actually Oprah, don’t worry about coming to Statesboro (I can’t believe I just typed that). Macon is going to do you right, sister. The mayor has reminded residents to be “on their best behavior while Oprah is in town.” He said, “Just like your mother used to tell you when company is coming.” You and your entarage will experience the finest of hoptiality while in Macon. I know you will. Enjoy the awesome State of Georgia. Enjoy all the charm. Enjoy all that we have to offer. And, come back some day. But next time, Oprah, please come to Statesboro!
P.S. Thanks, Oprah, for not taking your show to Atlanta.